Women Who Wander: Interview # 5—Kelsey Hoskins

From globetrotter to dog mom

🌸Kelsey was a true lifesaver during my time in the Japanese countryside, offering friendship and support when I felt most isolated. We quickly became close, and not long after she moved to Tokyo, I found myself making the move too. Although she’s since returned to the U.S., we’ve stayed in touch, and I’m genuinely excited at the prospect of living near her again soon—there are still plenty of Powell’s trips in our future! Kelsey is a devoted dog mom, a passionate plant lover, avid cyclist, and someone who never says no to a good game or trivia night. Her answers in this interview resonated so deeply with me, it felt like I could’ve written them myself. I hope you enjoy getting to know her as much as I have!🌸

Bio

Based near Seattle, in the quaint town of Poulsbo, Kelsey’s first taste of international travel was with her grandparents back in 2013 when they did a family trip to China. It sparked her love for new cultures and foods, and that was deepened by both reading about travel, and watching shows (especially Anthony Bourdain!) She doesn’t travel as much as she’d like to with her current job, but the travel bug is still there.

Where are you from and where are you currently based?

I grew up in northern Idaho. After a stint at WSU for college, I moved to Japan for just shy of 10 years before landing in Poulsbo, just west of Seattle.

How would you describe your travel style/international experience (e.g., backpacker, digital nomad, luxury, slow travel, expat)?

I’m a mix of different styles. If I’m traveling alone, I’m more of a backpacker or digital nomad, but if I’m traveling with family, they prefer a more luxury route. I can’t afford that, but I sure enjoy it! They offer two totally different sides of travel, and I love them both for different reasons. Mostly, I’m not a “sit in a resort and never leave the building” kind of person. If I’m traveling, I want to do and see all the things!

What are you passionate about outside of travel?

I’m passionate about cooking and trying new foods! I’m also in a cocktail phase. My other passion is my dog, Izzy! She is the light and love of my life. Some other passions include reading, learning, and trying new experiences.

Kelsey with daughter, Izzy

What else would you like people to know about you? (passion projects, work, family, pets, special interests, any other information you feel defines you, etc.)

Hmm, I guess that my life dream is to have a house so I can foster dogs.

When did the travel bug first bite?

The travel bug first bit probably while I was watching Anthony Bourdain and seeing him experience local foods and cultures. It struck such a cord with me. I must have been in middle school or earlier. My mom studied abroad in Malaysia in high school, and my mom’s family loves to travel, so travel stories were always part of my family.

What inspired you to start traveling solo (or live abroad)?

After I graduated college, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was deep in depression (before I had a name for the feeling), and I knew I needed a change. A friend recommended teaching English in Japan, and before I knew it, I was on a plane with all my possessions in two suitcases to start a new life in Japan!

Was there a moment or event that pushed you to take your first trip alone?

I struggle to connect with people and make friends, but I also want to travel, so that is what inspired me to travel solo the first time

What did your friends/family think of your choice to travel solo/move abroad?

My friends and family were shocked that I chose to live abroad! I think most of them can’t fathom it. They’re very supportive and happy for me and comforting, which was very nice when I was having culture shock at first.

What countries have you lived in/traveled to?

I lived in Japan and the USA. I’ve traveled to, in no particular order: Japan, Canada, China, Macau, Taiwan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Vietnam, and Italy. I feel like I’m definitely forgetting something…I’m one glass of wine in after a long week and my brain may be short circuiting a bit haha! That’s a short list. I gotta expand it!

Conquering the world

How do you choose your destinations?

I have places I want to visit based off a variety of reasons: food to try, cultural spots to visit, scenery to drool over, and mostly word of mouth. I would never have traveled to a few places (Vietnam) if I hadn’t heard such glowing things from people / travelers I trust.

What is one thing you never travel without?

I always travel with my passport! Kidding, kidding. I travel with a deck of cards! Games are fun for any age, it’s a great ice breaker, and if I’m alone in a hotel, I can at least do solitaire.

I really like that idea. I think I will bring my deck with me on my next trip!

What’s been your most challenging experience abroad?

The most challenging thing for me was racism whilst living in Japan. I was surprised how cold some people could be. You always hear about the amazing experiences of tourists online, but you rarely hear about the people living in the countryside whose neighbors cross the street so they don’t have to walk next to you.

I share in that experience with you. That’s been one of my biggest challenges living here.

How have you dealt with language barriers?

A lot of gesturing, and a willingness to make mistakes and take chances!

What cultural differences have been the hardest to adapt to?

Not sticking out in Japan! They want everyone to be the same and mild and meek and quiet. They don’t value individualism, or at least in my experience.

I also feel you on that. In the beginning I tried to not stick out, but now I don’t care because I know no matter how much I try to fit in, I won’t.

Have you ever faced discrimination or bias as a solo female traveler or expat?

Yes, discrimination especially in Japan. Not sure if it’s because I’m a foreigner or woman or both, however.

How did you handle these situations?

I mostly just bit my tongue in business or professional settings. But sometimes, when I’d had a bit to drink, I’d call out old drunk men for talking to me or other foreigners rudely.

A little liquid courage always helps!

What travel or expat mistake taught you the biggest lesson?

My biggest mistake was traveling with someone whose travel style didn’t match up with mine. I didn’t realize that people only wanted to eat safe food or do the Americanized touristy stuff instead of getting into the nitty gritty with locals. I learned to travel solo or be more careful about who I travel with.

What’s been your most empowering or memorable travel moment?

My most memorable travel moment was when I visited a little village in Fukuoka for their oyster shacks. My friend and I arrived and didn’t realize the oyster season had closed the day before. We were disappointed as it was the highlight of our whole trip, but someone we ran into ended up driving us 30 minutes to their friends’ oyster shack so we could still have a good experience! There was a table waiting for us and they booked us a taxi home also.

Have you ever felt love at first sight with a city/country?

YES! I felt so at home in Hanoi. I’m not sure what it was, to this day, that made me fall in love. But I adore it and think about it often.

Have you ever participated in a local tradition or ritual that deeply moved you?

I was able to take part in a Japanese New Year ceremony as a Shinto priestess because I had a good friend / almost a father who was a priest. It was a surprising amount of prep and hard work, but it was so cool to see all the behind the scenes that went into it!

What’s the most bizarre or unexpected skill you’ve picked up from living abroad?

I’m not sure if this counts but… My most bizarre skill, if you can call it that, is eating anything twice. I’ll give whatever a try once, and a second time at a specialty restaurant if I didn’t like it the first time and thought quality might be an issue. I find it like a challenge and have never said no to any new food!

How has your intuition evolved through solo travel?

I learned to trust myself and my gut! That person looks like they know their way around? Follow them when they get off the train. That alley has a bunch of people walking it but feels off? Avoid it. A hawker is leading me to a restaurant they promise is good? Well, that’s a little hit and miss.

How have your priorities or worldview changed since living abroad?

My priorities are much more towards trying local things vs tourist traps. Some tourist things are fine (how could you not go see The David in Florence), but I’d much rather go to a local temple or festival or restaurant than something I saw on trip advisor.

Do you feel like the same person who left home?

Absolutely not! I’m much more confident, trust myself, outgoing, and adventurous than when I started out.

Rockin’ an adventurous new do

Is there a version of you that exists only in a certain city or country? What brings her out?

Holy crap yes! After living in Japan nearly 10 years, I definitely have my Japanese cultural self. I also am much more outgoing and willing to ask questions and talk to random people abroad than in my own country.

Tell me more about the aspects of Japanese culture that have stuck with you.

Respect for the seasons and enjoying the now. I’m 100% sure other things have stuck, but they’re so deeply ingrained that I’m not sure how to figure out which part of me is what.

Have you ever felt more ‘yourself’ in a foreign culture than in your own? Why do you think that is?

Hmm I thought at first I felt like that in Japan, but then it tipped back towards a good mix of feeling comfortable with some things but appreciating the freedom and chaos of the States.

Never thought I’d say it, but I miss that freedom and chaos too!

Is there anything you grieve about the life you’ve chosen?

I grieve and am heartsick that I can’t live in every country I’ve visited. I leave a part of myself whenever I travel.

Have you formed meaningful relationships while abroad—romantic or platonic?

YES! I have a great friend I randomly ran into while I was traveling up to Hokkaido! We sat next to each other on a plane and randomly kept running into each other AND had a flight back together. We still talk and meet up 10 years later.

What’s something you’ve borrowed from another culture that you now consider part of your identity?

If someone is visiting me or I meet someone when they’re traveling around where I live (friends or strangers/ travelers) I’ll pay for everything and volunteer my time / energy / resources. I’ve had so so so many people buy things for me or treat me to dinners or drive me around and I want to repay that kindness.

What languages do you speak? Do different sides of your personality come out when you speak different languages?

English, obviously, and communicative Japanese. I am no longer fluent, but I’m sure I could get by. I studied Spanish, but unfortunately, I forgot all of it once I started studying Japanese.

What’s the most hilariously bad translation or miscommunication you’ve experienced?

There’s so many, but one of my favorites was when I told someone I like to eat dolphin. I meant to say I like salmon roe.

What does home mean to you?

I’m not sure anymore. And it’s also hard to describe I don’t have one place that feels like home. I feel heartsick for places I’ve lived before and places I’ve never even been. Home is more of a feeling of comfort and safety, which could be anywhere.

I know that feeling well. It reminds me of the Welsh word, hiraeth, which is a longing or nostalgia for a home that you can’t return to or a place that you may never have even experienced.

What reverse culture shock have you experienced returning to your home country?

I became SO angry at the U.S. Everything pissed me off and I kept comparing it to Japan. My parents finally called me out on it, and that seemed to kind of snap me out of it.

I can understand that. The reverse culture shock can be harder to adjust to than the culture shock of moving to a foreign country. I do remember you mentioning how nice it was just to be able to have conversations with strangers in grocery stores though. That’s one of the simple differences I look forward to when I move back.

If your travel life had a theme song, what would it be?

Pfff my mind went blank trying to think of any song at all! Hmm…it would just be my random Spotify shuffle haha! It changes on the country and mood. For me, it’s hard to pick just one. Nothing springs to mind top of the list.

What’s one piece of advice for anyone taking their first solo trip?

Get off the beaten path! Try something you wouldn’t normally in your home country. Do the scary thing!