Women Wiser Than I: Cheryl Strayed

The ghost ships that didn't carry us

“I'll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don't choose. We'll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn't carry us. There's nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” ― Cheryl Strayed

I’ve often thought about the lives I didn’t choose.

The ghost ship that sailed off to join the Peace Corps.

The one that headed east to China to teach English.

The one that docked at home and carried an immigration attorney.

I’ve also thought about the ones that I did board—

the ones from which I should have jumped sooner,

the ones that kept me moored to harbors teeming with trash.

In one sister life, I am a war correspondent, an investigative journalist uncovering human rights abuses.

In another, I am an aide worker in a refugee camp.

In yet another, I’m living a quiet life running a small bookshop café.

I like to imagine that on some other plane of existence we get to live out all the different experiences and versions of ourselves that we couldn’t possibly live out in a single lifetime.

I also like to believe that the Universe has a way of course correcting so that no matter which ship we take, no matter how lost at sea we become, we’ll always find our way back to the path we were meant to be on.

🎧 Listen / Watch

For more of Cheryl’s wisdom on navigating major life changes:

• 🎙️Cheryl’s podcast based on her “Dear Sugar” advice column in The Rumpus

• 📺 Hulu series Tiny Beautiful Things based on her book of the same name

💭 Reflections / Journal Prompts

• What ghost ship are you glad set sail without you?

• Which ship do you wish you had embarked on?

• What sister life keeps you up at night?